Females on #coders

Written by Goblin

With thanks to Raster for his great IRC logging service. Note: some names have been censored to protect the (not so) innocent.

Anyone who has ever spent time in #coders on IRCNet will know that it is a somewhat friendly place, full of insults, innuendo, and general misbehaviour. Yet, despite the outer look of the channel, it is a great place to get help for all of your coding problems.

Let me demonstrate with a log (misc chatter removed):

   [Goblin] hey
   [Goblin] can someone give me a hand with some code I'm writing?
   [Goblin] can someone give me a hand with some code I'm writing?
   <Fulg> gob: what's the prob? :)
   [Goblin] fulg: hey, you're not supposed to help that, I'm writing a biting
            article about girls on #coders :)
   [Goblin] can someone give me a hand with some code I'm writing?
   <_phoenix> gob: don't look at me :)
   <biOm-ass> goblin; whats the prob?

Oh well, a failed experiment....

The usual result of such an experiment is more like the following:

   [Goblin] hey, can someone help me with some code?
   <RasXXX> OH F**K OFF

and later:

   [Goblin] hmm, can anyone help me with some code?
   <LeXXXd> PUT YOUR ARSE BACK ON
   <LeXXXd> Goblin: hahaha
   <LeXXXd> now *that* is funny
   ...
   <goltrpoat> heres a response for ya
   <goltrpoat> go f**k yoself
   <goltrpoat> bitch
   <LeXXXd> g0 f**k y0ahself nigga
   [Goblin] tnx guys :)
   <spoXXX-78> Goblin: void main(){printf("Hello World\n");}
   <spoXXX-78> Goblin: that help?
   [Goblin] spoXXX-78: it helps my article :)
   <spoXXX-78> Goblin: which article? :)
   [Goblin] spoXXX-78: you'll find out if you download Hugi#13 when it arrives

Anyway, before I lose the point in digressions, watch now, as I carefully go undercover as a female named 'CodeGirl' and rejoin #coders.

   [CodeGirl] hello boys, how's about a little help with my code *giggle* ?
   [LeXXXd] CodeGirl: bend over darling.
   <spoXXX-78? CodeGirl: you goblins sister?

At this point, even though I was suspected, I had to be careful not to let my cover be blown. Watch my carefully worded reply:

   [CodeGirl] no
   [CodeGirl] I don't know who Goblin is

Alas, my clever ploy did not work, and I was forced to enlist the help of the great Thorsten/Purple, featured here as linda23

   *** Join: linda23 (~vipa@pc80004.stofanet.dk)
   [linda23] hi there. can anyone help me with my raytracer?

... meaningless banter here

   [linda23] please, my raytracer makes a mess when i try to supersample on
   reflections. who can help?

   <XXX> linda: that doesn't sound like it in itself is the problem?
   <XXX> linda: surely supersampling is just taking advantage of the
         raytracing engine and the problem must lie there?
   *** Quit: linda23 (stash sucked bigtime.)

As you can see, the mere mention of a female name elicited slobbering, helpful responses - unlike anything seen when the channel is full of males. The moral of this story? If you really, REALLY badly need help with your coding, try using a more #coders-friendly female nickname, and you'll instantly see the benefits come rolling in.

- Goblin/Xtatic/Quad